A breakup can be overwhelming for both partners. But the most damaging part of a breakup is a lack of closure or harsh regrettable words and actions. No one likes to be ghosted, but sometimes it is so hard to know what to say or to find a way to repair some harm you’ve done. Ideally, the couple needs to communicate about the need for the breakup and why it is in their individual best interest. It is helpful to see that you can learn from every relationship, and your best attempt at clear closure will help you both to start healing from this separation individually.
But expressing your feelings in person may not be easy for everyone. Perhaps writing a letter might help. In some cases, writing a breakup letter to someone you loved can help you both. Reading through these sample letters may help you process your own anger, loss, and abandonment feelings and bid farewell.
If you believe it will be most helpful to write to your ex, here are some breakup letters you can take inspiration from.
40+ Breakup Letters To Someone You Loved
Breakup letters can be a great outlet for pent-up feelings, especially if your relationship was a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Aya Ellaboudy, a blogger, mentions her experience of breaking up with her partner with a letter after being together for almost four years. She says, “My mind kept spinning scenes of me giving him a long speech in which I told him everything that I wanted to say. After a while of going back and forth, I finally decided to write him a letter…I knew that writing has always been my most favored method of expression and that it would most certainly help me feel lighter. This was all that mattered. I wanted to let go of these grudges I was holding. The letter I wrote exceeded 5 pages. I didn’t believe I had so much to get off my chest…If I had waited for a while before sending that letter, I would have probably realized that it simply wouldn’t get me anywhere. Yes, it was a bit of a relief to send it and receive a positive response (i).”
When you are in a long-distance relationship
Has the physical distance between you taken a toll on your relationship? If you feel it is time to renounce your relationship, take inspiration from these letters and write them one.
1. Dearest [Name]
Image: Shutterstock
Something has been bothering me for a while now, and I think I should convey it to you. Initially, I was okay with our long-distance setup because I believed our love would overcome any barrier. But sadly, I was wrong. I don’t think that I am strong enough. I spend too much of my time waiting to hear from you. And when your message does not come, I keep wondering about the possible reasons for the delay in your reply and feel frustrated.
I cannot keep living like this, worrying about you and being uncertain of our relationship. I think we should let go of this relationship and move on in life.
I will always cherish the sweet memories.
Sincerely
[Name]
2. Dear [Name]
We committed to giving this relationship our best effort when we said we would. However, despite all reasonable steps, something still seems to be missing. I am unsure if it’s the distance, the different time zones, or simply a lack of effort. The emotional intimacy and closeness I once felt have since vanished. I believe quitting this relationship and moving on is preferable rather than continuing in an unhealthy relationship. I hope your future pursuits go well and you get the happiness you deserve.
Sincerely
[Name]
3. Dear [Name]
I did not think I was the jealous type until we started living apart. Every time you went out with your friends and coworkers, I could not sleep. I keep overthinking about all the possibilities of you connecting with other people romantically. I know this is not proper behavior and even though I tried working on it, I am unable to think differently. We have started fighting and arguing much more than before because of my attitude. I believe breaking away from this relationship for a while will give me a new perspective. We can still be friends while I work on myself. I want our relationship to be healthy and not fraught with disagreements.
Sincerely
[Name]
4. Dear [Name]
You are a wonderful person that I have grown to love so much that I find it has become too difficult to be so far away. Maybe you feel the same? My attachment to you while miles away is driving me crazy. Not being able to touch you and hold you has become too much to bear.
I wish I could, but I am not strong enough to go on with this distance between us. I need to end our relationship for my own sanity. I am so sorry.
[Name]
5. Dearest [Name]
You pledged that we would always stay in touch, no matter what. However, the volume of calls and messages decreased with each passing day. We barely even get quality time together because you are usually unavailable. It’s gotten to the point that my mental health is being affected. No matter how hard I try, things just don’t seem to be getting any better, so I think it’s high time I put my health first, end this, and move on for the better. I hope you understand my perspective and find the strength to accept my decision. Take care.
[Name]
When your love has faded
There may come a time when you feel that love has faded and there is no point in going on with a loveless relationship. You may have renounced your old feelings for your partner. If that is the case, send a letter telling them it is best to part ways.
6. Dear [Name]
A lot of things change with time, including feelings for people. Even though you hold a special place in my heart, our relationship has come to the point where I don’t feel that we connect like before.
It would be unfair to you if I let it continue this way. You certainly deserve someone who loves you wholeheartedly. Hence, I feel I need to honest with myself and you and let go of our relationship.
I wish for you all the best.
[Name]
7. Dear [Name]
I am sorry to say that my feelings for you seem to have faded. It’s something I never wanted or anticipated to happen, yet I feel the chemistry and bond we once had are not the same anymore. I wanted to be honest with you about how I feel as I know I can’t give you the love and dedication you deserve. I apologize if my statements seem insensitive; there was no way I could have expressed how I felt. You deserve to be loved completely and without any reservations. Good luck for your future.
[Name]
8. Dear [Name]
Our relationship has been wonderful. It had all the components of an ideal romance. However, I have noticed a change in my feelings recently. The love and intense emotions I once felt for you and our relationship have shifted. I am not sure why this has happened, but it wouldn’t be fair to ignore these feelings and continue our relationship. I am sorry, but I believe it’s best if we parted ways. My changing feelings wouldn’t allow me to be an ideal partner for you. You are an amazing person, and I sincerely hope you find the love and joy you’re looking for in life.
[Name]
9. My Dearest [Name]
Nothing in life is predictable — not even love.
What you feel for someone today may not be the same tomorrow. I am saying this as I think my feelings for you have gone through something similar. I don’t feel the same for you as I did when we started dating. I don’t know why this has happened, but I think I should be frank and honest with you.
I feel we need to say goodbye to each other. I hope you move on and find the happiness you deserve in life.
Sincerely
[Name]
10. My Dearest [Name]
You know the adage that every beginning has an inevitable end? I used to believe that it would never apply to us. My affection for you has never wavered. But a few months ago, something changed within me. Expressing this is hard, but I’ve observed that our emotional bond has changed. It’s a tough acknowledgment, but I think it’s time for us to move on and tread life’s journey separately. Nonetheless, I’ll treasure the memories we shared. I wish you the best in whatever comes next for you.
[Name]
When the relationship is difficult to maintain
You two feel strongly for each other, but when you know that this relationship will take neither of you anywhere, it is better to part ways. Try writing a polite but firm letter to your partner conveying your feelings.
11. My Love
Falling in love
with you was the best thing that happened to me. Your love helped me grow as a person, and I will always be grateful for it. But we both know that staying together is no longer a viable option for us, and it is time we accept it. Circumstances have changed and have, sadly, worked against us.
I feel like I will never be able to love someone the way I loved you. It is a heartbreaking decision I am making. You will always dwell in my heart no matter where I go in life. All the best to you, and I hope you find someone who will love you even more than I ever did.
[Name]
12. Dear [Name]
I know our relationship has had several ups and downs, like a roller coaster. We appear to be unable to make it work lately, though. The factors that initially brought us closer have changed, and it’s evident that remaining together isn’t a feasible option. Even though we still care for one another, finding the correct balance has become challenging. It would be better for us to mutually split rather than grow apart with hard feelings. I hope the future holds much joy and prosperity for you.
Sincerely
[Name]
13. Dear [Name]
Even though we care deeply for each other, it’s clear that things aren’t going the right way for us. Recently, we’ve had many problems and difficulties that have complicated our love life. It’s unfortunate, but I think we should break up and go our separate ways. It’s a tough decision, but it’s best for both of us. You will always be special to me, and I wish you the best always.
[Name]
14. My Dearest [Name]
Image: Shutterstock
It is said that you can never forget true love. I know it is a fact because I know I will never be able to forget you. But I have to let you go and end this relationship even though doing so feels like stabbing my own heart. I am willing to suffer this pain because I know you will be happy in your new life.
Thank you for coming into my life and filling it with so much love. I hope, someday, in another universe, we meet sooner and in favorable circumstances.
Goodbye
[Name]
Quick tipWhen there is friendship but not love
You got into the relationship because you both were compatible, but you now feel no chemistry or romance between you two. You have realized that you two are better off as friends and wish to continue being friends. Let them know about it by writing something sweet and friendly.
15. Dear [Name]
You know I love you and will do anything to see you happy. However, my feelings for you are more like that of a friend and not a lover. I feel protective of you, but I don’t have romantic feelings for you. I guess it is because we share such a good rapport that I mistook it for romantic love. I feel so comfortable with you that caring for you is easy.
You are a wonderful person, and you deserve someone amazing who will love you unconditionally. I hope you understand that I cannot continue being with you in this romantic relationship. If you can, I need to go back to being your best buddy.
Your friend,
[Name]
16. My dear [Name]
Firstly, I want you to know that you are really important to me. I have thoroughly enjoyed the time we have spent together. You are a great human being, and I greatly care about you. But I also gave our relationship and mostly my feelings a lot of thought and have realized that I don’t have romantic feelings for you. I am sorry for this and sincerely hope you understand and respect my feelings. Take care.
[Name]
17. Dear [Name]
I have been thinking a lot about our relationship lately. I know we’ve been spending a lot of time together, doing things like watching movies, going for drives, having coffee, and talking on the phone till late at night. However, I have realized that I see you more as a close friend than a romantic partner. I know this might be surprising, but I wanted to be completely honest about my feelings. I hope this doesn’t change our friendship and I want to be there for you as your closest friend.
Sincerely
[Name]
When you have fallen in love with someone else
You have probably fallen for someone else and do not feel the same love for your partner. A kindly-worded breakup letter like these can help you convey your message.
18. Dear [Name]
It pains me deeply to write this letter, but I can’t think of a better way to convey this to you. I have fallen in love with someone I know at work, and we have decided to get into a relationship. It does not feel right to keep you in the hopes of a long-term relationship when I know I have feelings for someone else.
I hope you find your one true love in life because you can make anyone happy. Try to move on happily in life, and if possible, please forgive me.
[Name]
19. Dear [Name]
I am writing to you today because I need to be honest about my feelings. I have fallen in love with someone else whom I have recently met online. I didn’t plan for this, and I am sorry. You deserve to know the truth. I thought a lot about our relationship and realized I could not ignore my feelings to stay with you. I know this is tough, and I am sorry for the pain it causes you. I genuinely wish you all the happiness in the world, and I know you will find someone who loves you deeply and genuinely.
[Name]
20. Dear [Name]
Life can be unpredictable, and our emotions sometimes catch us off guard. I need to talk to you honestly about something on my mind. I have recently met this person and started to develop feelings for them. I know it’s difficult for you to process this, but I wish I could regulate my emotions better. I feel helpless and powerless to stop my heart from wanting what it desires. I never meant to disappoint you or betray your trust. I hope you forgive me.
[Name]
21. [Name]
I know you might hate me for what I am about to tell you, but trust me, I never meant to do it in the first place. I have found someone else in life for whom I feel something stronger than camaraderie. I tried my best to stay loyal to our relationship, but, somehow, my heart betrayed me. And it is no fault of yours because you are an amazing partner, and I truly cherish every moment spent together.
I hope you forgive me and have a happy life with someone who will love you for the wonderful person that you are.
[Name]
When your partner has cheated on you
Your partner is a big-time liar, and you have learned that you have been cheated on and wish to break up with them. Your letter should be strongly worded, indicating that it’s over because of their disloyalty.
22. [Name]
If you think not telling me about your office affair can keep me in the dark forever, you must be really foolish. I know what you have been up to with your affair. I wish you had the courage to end it with me before beginning your other relationship.
Needless to say, I am done with you, and I hope you learn to treat a relationship better in the future.
Goodbye,
[Name]
23. [Name]
I am unsure how I should react to what has happened. My heart is full of pain, and my rational self is grappling to come to terms with this betrayal. Separation is, of course, hurtful, but what tears my heart apart is that you have been two-timing ever since we began this relationship. Now, when I reminisce, I can connect the dots and remember all the subtle signs of infidelity I ignored just because I was madly in love with you. What a fool I was, right? But not anymore!
I am exiting this mess, and you are free to live your life. Please do not try to contact me for any clarifications or excuses, as that would not change anything.
Goodbye,
[Name]
24. [Name]
I won’t get into the details because it’s not worth it. I would just say that what you did has significantly harmed my faith in you. I thought our bond was exceptional, but I guess I was wrong, and the fairy tales about true love are merely stories!
I don’t have any bitterness toward you. I wish you the best in life. I hope you find whatever you were searching for in someone else’s arms. Maybe one day you shall realize that what we had was worth much more than a fleeting moment of excitement. Goodbye.
[Name]
25. [Name]
What happened severely affected me, so I cannot stop writing this letter. I feel like my entire world has fallen apart. I trusted you with my heart and dreams, and I was betrayed. I want to keep my resentment and bad feelings away from you. Instead, I’d like to know why you did this to me. What was missing or wrong in our relationship that led to this? I am not seeking these answers to fix things but to find closure and grow. I don’t know if I can forgive you, but I know I need to move on. Goodbye.
[Name]
26. [Name]
Image: Shutterstock
Kindly come and pick your stuff from the carton box I have placed right beside my mailbox because I know you are cheating on me. I do not wish to have a cheater step into my house or my life ever again.
Please do not call me or text me to clarify anything because I know everything you have been up to behind my back.. You do not exist for me anymore, so do not expect me to ever speak to you again.
[Name]
When you are in an abusive relationship
Abuse of any kind, physical or mental, should not be tolerated by anyone. If you are in an abusive relationship, it is time you muster courage and break up with such a partner while making it clear that they can never get back with you.
27. [Name]
I hope no one ever goes through the fear and humiliation I experienced with you. Love is supposed to make you happy, not scared. I do not wish to be on the receiving end of your mood swings and temper anymore. We are done.
Do not try to contact me ever again, as I have blocked you from my life.
[Name]
28. [Name]
You see, love shouldn’t be painful. I must confess that I have deeply suffered in our relationship. It’s come to the point that I can’t even recognize myself anymore. To be clear, I am not leaving because I want to but because I have to. I deserve to be content and safe and be with someone who values and respects me. If you choose to ask for assistance, be aware that it is available. I sincerely hope you get the help you need. Goodbye, for now.
[Name]
29. [Name]
I am writing this letter as I find myself trapped in this relationship, which feels suffocating, like a jail, for far too long. My dreams, passions, and sense of value have gradually disappeared. I cannot continue living in this state of anxiety, fearing the next painful incident. I want to be very clear that this choice is not easy for me. It’s about my survival, choosing to live rather than enduring a slow emotional demise. I genuinely hope you can find the help and growth you need. However, I have to set myself free and reclaim my life. Do not try to reach out to me.
[Name]
30. [Name]
When I fell in love with you, I thought it was the start of the most beautiful journey of my life. Now, because of your treatment of me, the mere thought of you sucks the happiness out of my life. I wish to erase every single memory associated with you because you do not deserve a place in my life.
Stay away from me and do not try to contact me because I will never respond.
[Name]
When you and your partner have different future plans
You and your partner love each other, but somehow, your future plans take you both in opposite directions. Write a letter telling them how much you love and respect them but cannot be together.
31. Dear [Name]
Image: Shutterstock
I am happy for all that you have achieved in life. I feel proud of you. But let’s be a little more practical about our future together. We are aware of how our career plans might take us on different paths and how it can be impossible to maintain our relationship. Also, we both want different things in life, and no matter how hard we try, we cannot deny that our aims and goals in life are very important for us.
I do not want our relationship to come in the way of our career goals. So, let’s give our story a happy ending and set out on our preferred paths in life. I will always cherish our wonderful memories together. All the best for your future.
Love
[Name]
32. Dear [Name]
I am penning down this letter as I have come to realize that both of us want different things from life. You want to travel and have a life filled with adventures. Whereas I long for a more stable life with a steady job and want to settle down in my hometown. I think it’s best for both of us to part ways since our priorities and ambitions are different. It is a difficult choice to make, but I am sure we’d be happy that we made this choice in the future. I wish you all the best.
[Name]
33. Dear [Name]
I know we have really enjoyed each other’s company so far. But we must be open and honest about where our relationship is headed. I’ve always wanted a big family to call my own and to settle down near my loved ones, but I know you want to travel and explore. I don’t want to hold you back from your dreams, and I don’t want to give up on mine. It is time we separate so that both of us pursue our aspirations. I genuinely hope that everything works out for you in the interim. Take care.
[Name]
When you think your partner loves you for your money
If you are in a relationship with someone who is concerned only about your money, get out of that relationship before your bank account starts draining. Also, if someone just cannot stop getting into financial trouble, for your security you probably need to distance yourself from them.
34. [Name]
Initially, it was out of love that I would foot all your bills, but now you have made it a habit. I don’t mind spending on someone I love, but the problem here is that you do not giveback. It seems like what you love is the amount of money I am willing to spend on you, and for some time this has been an unfair imbalance in our relationship.
I think it is high time I safeguard my heart.
[Name]
Point to consider35. [Name]
I’ve noticed that our relationship often revolves around money. You are more interested in what I can give you than in getting to know me personally. I have started questioning whether you’re with me because of who I am or because I provide a safe and comfortable living. I need to know that we are in a relationship for the right reasons, love being the most important. But right now, I am not sure about that. I want to end this relationship and take some time to figure things out. I hope you understand.
[Name]
36. [Name]
I have wanted to discuss something on my mind for a while. It seems like all you care about is my money and what I can provide, and you value worldly possessions more than anything else. Honestly, it is evident that the sole reason for you to stay in this relationship is financial gain, and I am nothing more than a source of income for you. I regret saying this, but I can’t continue this relationship anymore. I am looking for someone who loves and cares for me genuinely. Goodbye.
[Name]
37. [Name]
When have I not tried to help you out of your financial mess? No matter what problem I try to help you with, you get yourself into another the very next moment. I cannot take this anymore. Do not think it is your financial condition that is my problem. It is not. My problem is your attitude toward money handling.
If we are to have a future together, I need you to be more serious about handling money well so we can have a happy family together. But your attitude toward money and life is not ideal for a life partner, so I have decided to split up with you.
All the best for your future. I hope you find someone who is ready to splash their money on you.
Goodbye
[Name]
When you are not ready to commit to your partner
You like this person a lot but do not want to commit to them. Well, stop wasting their time, especially if they have been imagining spending the rest of their life with you. Admit your shortcomings and take the blame for ruining a perfect relationship. Use these letters for severance and let them go.
38. Dear [Name]
I hate to disclose this to you in this manner, but writing a letter is the only way I can think of right now because I may not be able to face you while telling you this. I have been having a tough time keeping up with your expectations from me as a partner. I am afraid I cannot give you the commitment you are looking for in this relationship.
And let me tell you that my decision has nothing to do with you, and rather, it is my inability to commit. You are a wonderful person, and I know for sure you will find someone who will value your companionship for life.
I am sorry to break this out so suddenly. Please try to understand that I had to do it to avoid more pain for either of us. All the best in your life.
[Name]
39. Dear [Name]
You are an incredible person, and I loved our time together. I am really sorry to say this, but I don’t think I am ready to commit to a relationship right now. I don’t want to make any promises that I can’t keep. You deserve someone as invested in a relationship as you are, and right now, I am not that person. Hope you find what you are looking for in life. Sorry for hurting you. Take care.
[Name]
40. Dear [Name]
I thought long and hard about how I should present what was on my mind. So, here it goes. I am an ambitious person who has set goals and objectives that I want to achieve in a particular timeline. Right now, I am not able to commit myself to a relationship. I don’t want to hold you back or make you wait for me till I figure things out. Please understand that this has nothing to do with the person you are, and it’s solely about me and my circumstances. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and move on for the best. Good luck.
[Name]
41. Dear [Name]
Image: IStock
This letter might come as a shock to you, but trust me, this is the best way I could think of to divulge this news to you. For the past few months, I have been trying to let you know of it but could never get it out of me. I don’t think I am ready for a long-term commitment with you. I really like you and enjoy your company, but I do not feel prepared to take our relationship to the next level.
I feel like I am making the biggest mistake of my life, but this looks like the right thing to do right now. You need to know that you are an amazing person, and having you for life would be the biggest achievement for anyone. But I think I am not prepared to handle that kind of responsibility, and so, letting you go is the best thing to do for both of us.
I hope you do not hate me for this. Have a wonderful life ahead.
[Name]
When you do not get along with your partner’s family
For a relationship to be successful, it is imperative you get along with your partner’s family. And if you don’t, then carrying on with such a person can become difficult. It may make the atmosphere non-conducive for a divorce later on. If you are currently in such a situation, the following letters might help you express your feelings while breaking up with your love.
42. Dearest [Name]
After spending enough time with your family, I realized that I just do not fit in with your folks. I might be wrong or could be imagining this, but I feel that your family does not quite approve of me. I feel like they do not like me and would like to see you with someone else than me.
It would be selfish of me to ask you to pick either your family or me; hence, I have chosen to walk away from this relationship. I fear you would try to talk me out of this decision or change my mind, which is why I am writing this letter to you. Please try to understand. I cannot stay in a relationship where the most important people in your life disapprove of me. I am sorry we are breaking up this way.
Regretfully
[Name]
43. Dear [Name]
I truly admire how you love and value your family and care for them. But after several meetings, I feel I don’t fit well in your family. I am not saying that they are wrong; on the contrary, they are lovely people. It’s just that our cultures, values, and ways of life are very different. I am saying this honestly because I don’t want to stand between you and your family. You deserve someone who gels well with your family and your life, and I am not that person, and I don’t want to force something that’s not meant to be. I want you to be happy, and I think we should find partners who better suit our preferences.
Sincerely
[Name]
44. Dear [Name]
You may or may not have noticed, but in the last few times we were with your family, I did not get along well with them. Honestly, I always felt like an outsider whenever I was with your family. I tried to blend in and be a part of your family, but either your family did not help, or I did not work hard enough to be accepted by them.
You are an amazing person, but I don’t think we can last long if I do not get along with your family, especially when I know how much they mean to you. It is best we end this now and look for partners more suitable for us. I hope you understand.
Have a great life ahead.
Good luck
[Name]
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What do I say in a breakup letter?
Be open yet subtle when you write a breakup letter, as it could be painful for the one reading it. You may express what you expected in the relationship and what has gone wrong. If you had a healthy relationship, you could say how you enjoyed being in the relationship, mention some fond memories you had with your partner, and how you feel about the breakup.
2. How do I write a sad breakup letter?
Try to get your point across as gently as possible while writing a breakup letter. State the reasons for the breakup and what’s next in terms of whether you want to be friends still or is it all. Also, thank them for the memories and end the letter positively.
3. How is the Declaration of Independence like a breakup letter?
The Declaration of Independence by colonies to the King of Great Britain was similar to a breakup letter because it stated that the colonies were breaking up with Britain and the reasons. It stated what a perfect relationship looks like and what went wrong.
We hope these letters give you an idea of what you can write to someone when breaking up with them, and are ready to bid adieu. Remember that whenever you write a breakup letter, write it as if you are the one receiving it. Reading it from the receiver’s perspective helps you be gentle and polite while disavowing the relationship. Your partner may have wronged you or hurt you, but that does not mean you should be rude to them. Be nice and keep the parting as clean as possible because it will only help you heal faster and give you peace of mind. Remember that if you have strong emotions, to take the time to first write a venting letter that you do not send. Don’t repudiate those emotions. Instead, process them with writing. Doing so can help you discover your deeper feelings and allow a safe venting that does not wound the other person unnecessarily. Be kind to yourself first so that you can be kind to the other person.
Infographic: Things To Remember When Writing A Breakup Letter
Breakups fill your hearts with grief and agony, as letting go of someone you love is never easy. However, if you wish to express your feelings in a letter, certain things make them more impactful. The infographic below lists the dos and don’ts when writing a breakup letter. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Heartbreaks aren’t easy to process. But you can write out your feelings. Watch this video and get inspiration to write an emotional letter to the one who broke your heart.
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. I wrote my Ex a letter;https://medium.com/hello-love/i-wrote-my-ex-a-letter-167d917867ad
Read full bio of Dr. Margaret Ann Dixon
Read full bio of Ratika Pai
Read full bio of Akshay Nair
